the rules of the game

Martin was one of the best, and most trustworthy friends he had ever had. He too was a Texan, and understood the magic. It was difficult to explain, and most people without ties to the Lone Star Republic were oblivious to it. The mystique of Texas is something that even Texans are not fully aware of until they move away from the great expanse of its flatness and wide open horizons. The geography of the land of the armadillo is most remarkable for the vastness of its monotony. North of the Cap Rock, the high plains stretch beyond seeing—”as far as you can point yer hand.” 

The closest thing to mountains in the whole vast spread of Texas is the Cap Rock, a sudden drop from the high plains to the gulf plains a thousand feet below. The Cap Rock cuts the state “half in two” as his father used to say. The eastern part of the lower step is covered with the muggy humidity of the old south and sports a handsome stand of southern pines—the great piney woods. To the west is the blazing, bone-dry desert of cowboy movie fame. And sprawling out along the Gulf of Mexico, the plain slopes so gently into the sea that a wader can walk half a mile out into the water and only be chest deep in the gentle rolling waves. 

Corn and cotton and cattle and oil fields and gas wells and jack rabbits and tumble weeds abound, and wide empty highways run into eternity as straight as a laser beam. The incredible scope of unhindered monotony in the geography of west Texas perhaps breeds a unique creativity of thought out of sheer necessity. Without this  special trait, Texans would probably just wither and blow away in the hot dry panhandle wind.

Martin was steeped in the Texas arts. He was outspoken and brash and mostly from the non-Baptist branch of the dichotomy although he had not escaped it entirely and knew it well enough to be effectively sacrilegious and dangerous. He was a flaming redhead with an impish twinkle in his eye. He was intelligent and articulate and had a flair for exposing bullshit. Martin shared a trait that was common to Texans—he was a master of verbal creativity and wit. He always had an answer, and it was always compelling. His particular gift was in bringing clarity to a subject, and evaporating mists of confusion and uncertainty. Political correctness was sometimes useful to him but never sacred, and often a target for his amusement. He had a remarkable sense of balance, and equally enjoyed the sport in chopping both liberals and conservatives off at the knees when they offered him the opportunity. Martin’s outspokenness and willingness to poke the sacred cow had made both friends and enemies for him over the years, and he took it all in stride. It was just part of the game.

He moved in and out of contact with Martin over time, sometimes not seeing him for months on end and then shifting back into regular and frequent contact. The past couple of months had been a very active period, and it had been a good thing. One day he sent Martin e-mail venting his frustrations with women. He had commented in his note about how the rules of the dating game had changed since he had married and settled at the beginning of the ‘70s. Martin’s response was quick and concise and typically Martin:

“All rules are subject to change at any time by anybody.“Commitment is defined as one party wanting the other party to do as they are expected. Telling what the expectations are is optional. Most women do not seek commitment. They seek comfort and an end to their being afraid of being single.“Safe sex refers to preventing the transmission of disease only. Not having sex is not considered safe sex.“Tell the other party you are looking for commitment, until you get irritated by their behavior. Then tell them it isn't working out. This is how women do it to avoid feeling guilty about their just wanting a temporary good time. You can do it too. This is not dishonest, not really.”

Whether Martin’s assessment of the rules of the game was accurate and fair, he did not know for sure, but it rang true to the frustration and instability and confusion that he had experienced in re-entering the big strange world of dating and romance. And it was slightly reassuring to see it all in print.